What I really mean to say

I understand that I am not the only person you interact with, and I am aware that you are busy with other conversations. I am introverted and tend to overthink things, and even though I enjoy talking to you, it feels like there's a lack of effort on your part. It often seems like you're only responding to me when you're free or when it's convenient, and that can make me feel like I am not a priority. When I see you online but not replying to me, it hurts. I know we are not in a relationship, but even in a friendship, feeling valued and prioritized matters. I keep waiting for your messages because I genuinely enjoy our conversations, but the imbalance in effort and attention affects me deeply. I wish you could see things from my perspective. It would mean a lot if you could understand how this impacts me.

Sad

 Shit. I know life has its ups and downs but I didn't think history would repeat itself. I am to blame for this. Me and only me. I let my guard down for a moment and shit happens. I never should have trusted another person. I shouldn't have had feelings for someone who never saw anything in me. I never should have changed. I have gotten back from things before and I know I will this time too but it still hurts like it's the first time. People say I overthink but in the end, I end up right. Today was no different. For someone, I didn't even deserve an explanation. They could have told me this was happening. I guess I expected too much from them. Fuck. I don't know what to do. It's always the same with me.